Yesterday I had a brother who is extremely well versed in economics and investing, come over to review my paperwork for early retirement and help me determine what's the best stewardship of the resources I'm being given. Yes, I guess I should have done this weeks ago--before I made my decision. But if I had, I might still be gainfully employed today out of fear.
He made a statement that struck definite fear and doubt about the wisdom of my decision into me. He said "in my professional opinion, with the coming financial crisis in our nation, one unlike we've ever experienced before, your best defense and investment opportunity from a worldly standpoint, is a great paying job--which you just gave up." Wow....my heart did skip a few beats and my brain immediately was accusing me of being the most stupid person in the world! I do value this man's opinion greatly. He has followed, studied, analyzed and lived long enough in our economy, to understand the inner workings of it far greater than I. I just praise God that he is a fellow-believer and our trust is in God and not in the wisdom, the money, the philosophies of this world.
I have to confess, his words have weighed heavy on my mind and heart since yesterday. I do have 7 days to retract my decision. I could contact our HR department on Monday and withdraw this with no fear of repercussions. As a matter-of-fact, my manager would LOVE it if I would do this. I have even entertained this idea off and on since yesterday. But, before my feet hit the floor this morning, I was in prayer about this and other things, and I've been in communion with the Lord all day since. It's been a sweet sweet day. He has calmed me and reminded me that trust is not real trust, until you can trust when things get hard, get scary, get dark. Is my trust in Him real? Or is it a backup plan only? Those words yesterday are also making me hungrier to get into THE Word and dig out all of the promises God has made to me which are penned there and cling ever more tightly to them. This is a great place to be!
Just as Peter had to refocus his attention on Christ and off of the raging seas when he stepped out of the boat, I have to do the same. And this isn't just a story that I'm reading about, this is my life. I'm living out the principals and faith that God has been building in me all along. So, for today at least, (and I pray for evermore) I'm pushing past the fear, overlooking the raging storm that threatens to overtake me, and focusing on the One, the only One, who has authority over that storm.
I very much appreciate your prayers with me!
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